Happy Birthday to Me

birthdays...

when you are a kid, you look forward to them every year..what kind of gifts are you going to get, what kind of party or gathering are you going to have, who is going to be there, where will it be held, etc.

growing up I don't really remember any of my birthdays..of course there was the normal family gathering but I don't remember ever doing much more than perhaps a sleep over with some friends.

favorite Birthday gift? don't know that I can answer that either..I remember getting a cabbage patch kid one year and one year was pretty much all strawberry shortcake. when I was 13 my friend gave me my first barbie..she had white clothes that you could tie dye and long blonde hair.

recently when Catherine turned four, there was a discussion about her mom not really wanting her to have barbies..my mom confessed that she never wanted me to have one either..why?? I don't know.

this year is also the 11th year anniversary of my grandfather passing..he died the day before I turned 21..what a way to spend a birthday..I guess deep down that is what gets to me every year about this time.

I remember this exact day in 1997..it was the last day I saw my grandpa..he seemed happy..I think he knew who I was that day. I remember my grandma couldn't get him to eat anything or drink so I sat on his bed and gave him drinks of water with a straw..he didn't say much but I remember him just looking at me with his shiny eyes and I knew he loved me..then on Friday, 3 days later he was gone..he had been up that day walking around, cutting up like his good ol self and then he was gone..just like that..daniel was there, left to go get something at the store and in the time it took him to just get down the road pa-pa was gone. I miss him..I miss him alot.

and then you have this year...granted it's just another birthday..no great milestone year or anything..just big ol 32..

this saturday I get to be at the church all day hosting/teaching/playing at a handbell workshop..not really how I wanted to spend my birthday. granted I will be with friends, my adult ringing friends but for that to occupy my whole day has me bothered for some reason.

on happy notes, I DO get to go on vacation on the 30th of Sept so that is definitely worth looking forward to.